Relationships
Sexless marriage and low male sex drive: understanding and reconnecting
A sexless or near-sexless marriage is more common than many people realise, and it is not always the woman who has lost interest. When the man has low sex drive, both partners can feel confused, rejected or ashamed.
In short: Men lose interest in sex for many reasons: stress, tiredness, erection worries, low mood, medicines, porn habits, hormonal changes or unresolved relationship tension. Avoiding sex is often about fear of failure rather than lack of love. Talking openly, taking pressure off, addressing health factors and getting support help many couples reconnect.
Common reasons men stop wanting sex
Erection or performance worries
Some men avoid sex because they fear losing an erection or finishing too quickly. Avoiding it feels safer. See performance anxiety in men.
Stress and exhaustion
Work, money and family pressures leave little room for desire.
Low mood
Depression and anxiety reduce interest in pleasure.
Health and hormones
Weight gain, poor sleep, alcohol and some medicines lower libido. Read low libido in men over 40.
Porn and habits
Frequent porn use can shift arousal patterns. See signs of porn addiction.
Relationship tension
Unresolved conflict, resentment or feeling criticised can switch off desire.
How to talk about it
- Choose a calm moment, not in bed or after a rejection
- Use I statements: I miss being close to you
- Ask what has changed for them, and listen
- Avoid blame; treat it as a shared problem
Read mismatched libido in relationships for more.
Steps to reconnect
Take sex off the table for a while
Rebuild touch and closeness without the expectation of intercourse. Sensate focus exercises are designed for this.
Schedule time together
It may sound unromantic, but planned time protects intimacy.
Look after health
Exercise, sleep and less alcohol help desire for both partners.
Get support
A naturopath can look at physical causes and build a natural plan, and a counsellor can help with relationship patterns.
How we can help
Men’s Health Clinics offers discreet consultations for men worried about low desire, erections or performance, and we welcome partners who want to attend.
Why men choose our natural approach
Walk in or consult remotely
Walk in at Buccleuch, Sandton, with parking available, or consult by phone or video from anywhere in South Africa.
Natural and non-surgical
Herbal remedies and practical guidance, with no injections or surgery.
Faster appointments
Enquiries answered 24/7, with same-day appointments often available.
Transparent pricing
Consultations are R2,500, with any remedy costs confirmed before you commit.
Private self-check: 5 quick questions
Answer these honestly before you try anything new or book. They help you describe what is happening and get more from your first consultation.
- Has your interest in sex dropped noticeably over the past year?
- Do you feel tired most days, even after a full night in bed?
- Has your weight around the middle increased?
- Have stress, low mood or poor sleep become more common?
- Have you noticed weaker erections or fewer morning erections?
Two or more yes answers suggest that energy, sleep, stress or weight may be affecting your drive. These are areas where natural, practical support often makes a real difference, and a naturopath can help you work out where to start.
What happens at your first consultation
- Walk in or book online, call +27 10 205 9855 or WhatsApp +27 81 823 1313. In Gauteng, walk in at 199 Vanessa Street, Buccleuch, Sandton, where parking is available. Outside Gauteng, choose a confidential phone or video consultation. Enquiries are answered 24/7.
- Talk privately with a naturopath about your symptoms, health history, lifestyle and goals.
- Receive a personalised natural plan, with any remedy costs confirmed upfront.
- Follow up in person or remotely so your progress is reviewed and your plan adjusted.
Your health and safety
Our naturopaths use natural remedies and lifestyle support, and always check your health history and current medicines first. If anything needs medical attention we tell you honestly and refer you to an appropriately registered medical professional. Avoid unregistered “enhancement” products sold online or at markets, as SAHPRA has warned that some contain hidden ingredients.
Seek urgent medical care for chest pain, an erection lasting more than four hours, sudden weakness or other sudden symptoms.
Consultation price
A consultation is R2,500, in person or remote, and your naturopath confirms any further costs before you go ahead. See our mens clinic prices for details.
Frequently asked questions
Why has my husband lost interest in sex?
Common reasons include stress, tiredness, erection worries, low mood, medicines, porn habits and relationship tension. It is rarely just about attraction.
Is a sexless marriage normal?
It is more common than many think, but if either partner is unhappy it is worth addressing.
How do I talk to my partner about low sex drive?
Choose a calm time, speak about your feelings without blame and ask what has changed for them.
Can low sex drive in men be treated naturally?
Often yes. Addressing stress, sleep, weight, alcohol and relationship factors helps many men regain desire.
How much does a consultation cost?
A consultation is R2,500, and any remedy costs are confirmed with you before you go ahead.
Book your consultation today
Walk in at our Sandton practice any time, day or night, or book ahead. Outside Gauteng? Book a remote consultation.
References and further reading
- Mayo Clinic: Male hypogonadism
- Mayo Clinic: Depression (major depressive disorder)
- SADAG: South African Depression and Anxiety Group
Reviewed by George Mulaudzi, Naturopath. This page is general information and does not replace a personal consultation. If you have chest pain, sudden symptoms or a medical emergency, seek urgent medical care.
