Techniques
Sensate focus exercises: a step-by-step guide for couples
Sensate focus is a well-established sex therapy technique that takes pressure off performance and rebuilds intimacy. Here is how to use sensate focus exercises at home.
In short: Sensate focus is a structured series of touching exercises for couples, developed by Masters and Johnson. Partners take turns touching each other, starting with non-genital touch and gradually progressing, with no goal of erection or orgasm. It reduces performance anxiety and is widely used for erectile dysfunction, premature ejaculation and low desire.
Why sensate focus works
Anxiety about performance is one of the most common causes of erection problems and early ejaculation. Sensate focus removes the goal of sex, so attention shifts from “Will it work?” to “What do I feel?”. This often allows natural arousal to return. See performance anxiety in men.
Ground rules
- Agree not to have intercourse during the early stages.
- Set aside 20 to 30 minutes, two or three times a week, when you are relaxed and private.
- Take turns: one partner touches, the other receives.
- Focus on sensations such as temperature, texture and pressure, not on arousal.
- Talk briefly afterwards about what felt good.
Stage 1: Non-genital touch
Partners take turns touching each other’s body, avoiding breasts and genitals. The receiver simply notices sensations.
Stage 2: Including breasts and genitals
Touch can include breasts and genitals, still without aiming for arousal or orgasm. If an erection happens, simply notice it and continue.
Stage 3: Mutual touching
Partners touch each other at the same time, still without intercourse.
Stage 4: Gradual return to intercourse
When both feel ready, include penetration slowly, with permission to pause and return to touching. No pressure to finish.
Tips for success
- Move at your own pace; stay at a stage until it feels comfortable.
- Use lotion or massage oil.
- If anxious thoughts appear, gently return attention to sensation.
- Combine with breathing exercises.
Who it helps
- Erectile dysfunction, especially situational. See morning erection but not during sex.
- Premature ejaculation. See home remedies for premature ejaculation.
- Low or mismatched desire. See mismatched libido in relationships.
- Rebuilding intimacy. See how to improve intimacy in a relationship.
How we can help
Our naturopaths and sexual health counselling can guide couples through these techniques alongside natural support.
Why men choose our natural approach
Walk in or consult remotely
Walk in at Buccleuch, Sandton, with parking available, or consult by phone or video from anywhere in South Africa.
Natural and non-surgical
Herbal remedies and practical guidance, with no injections or surgery.
Faster appointments
Enquiries answered 24/7, with same-day appointments often available.
Transparent pricing
Consultations are R2,500, with any remedy costs confirmed before you commit.
Private self-check: 5 quick questions
Answer these honestly before you try anything new or book. They help you describe what is happening and get more from your first consultation.
- How often can you get and keep an erection firm enough for sex: almost always, most of the time, sometimes, or rarely?
- Do you still notice morning or night-time erections?
- Have stress, poor sleep, alcohol, smoking or long hours increased recently?
- Do you take medicine for blood pressure, the heart, diabetes or mood?
- Has your interest in sex dropped noticeably over the past year?
If you answered “sometimes” or “rarely” to the first question, a consultation is a sensible next step. Morning erections that still happen are often a reassuring sign that lifestyle, stress or confidence are playing a part, which natural support can address well. A yes to question four means any remedy needs checking for interactions first.
What happens at your first consultation
- Walk in or book online, call +27 10 205 9855 or WhatsApp +27 81 823 1313. In Gauteng, walk in at 199 Vanessa Street, Buccleuch, Sandton, where parking is available. Outside Gauteng, choose a confidential phone or video consultation. Enquiries are answered 24/7.
- Talk privately with a naturopath about your symptoms, health history, lifestyle and goals.
- Receive a personalised natural plan, with any remedy costs confirmed upfront.
- Follow up in person or remotely so your progress is reviewed and your plan adjusted.
Your health and safety
Our naturopaths use natural remedies and lifestyle support, and always check your health history and current medicines first. If anything needs medical attention we tell you honestly and refer you to an appropriately registered medical professional. Avoid unregistered “enhancement” products sold online or at markets, as SAHPRA has warned that some contain hidden ingredients.
Seek urgent medical care for chest pain, an erection lasting more than four hours, sudden weakness or other sudden symptoms.
Consultation price
A consultation is R2,500, in person or remote, and your naturopath confirms any further costs before you go ahead. See our men’s clinic prices for details.
Frequently asked questions
What is sensate focus?
A structured series of touching exercises for couples that removes performance pressure and rebuilds intimacy.
Does sensate focus help erectile dysfunction?
Yes, especially when anxiety plays a role. It is widely used in sex therapy.
How long does sensate focus take?
Couples usually work through the stages over several weeks.
Can I do sensate focus without a therapist?
Many couples follow the steps at home, although guidance can help.
How much does a consultation cost?
A consultation is R2,500, and any remedy costs are confirmed with you before you go ahead.
Book your consultation today
Get personalised, natural support from a naturopath. Walk in at our Sandton practice, or book a remote consultation if you live outside Gauteng.
References and further reading
- Mayo Clinic: Erectile dysfunction, diagnosis and treatment
- Mayo Clinic: Premature ejaculation
- NCCIH: Naturopathy
Reviewed by George Mulaudzi, Naturopath. This page is general information and does not replace a personal consultation. If you have chest pain, sudden symptoms or a medical emergency, seek urgent medical care.
