Premature ejaculation
Premature ejaculation with a new partner: why it happens and what helps
You last fine on your own, but with someone new it is over in moments. Premature ejaculation with a new partner is extremely common and usually improves once you understand what is going on.
In short: With a new partner, high arousal, novelty, nerves and a long gap since last ejaculating all make ejaculation come faster. This is usually situational rather than a lasting problem. Slowing down, extending foreplay, breathing slowly, using the start-stop technique and communicating openly help most men. If it continues after the relationship settles, consider support.
Why it happens with someone new
High arousal
New partners are exciting. Higher arousal shortens the time to ejaculation.
Nerves and wanting to impress
Anxiety speeds up the ejaculation reflex. The more you worry about finishing early, the more likely it becomes. See performance anxiety in men.
A long gap
If it has been a while since you last ejaculated, sensitivity is higher.
Unfamiliar sensations
A different body, position or condom can feel more intense.
What you can do
Slow the build-up
Spend more time on foreplay and touch that is not focused on the penis.
Breathe low and slow
Slow belly breathing calms the nervous system. Learn how in breathing techniques to last longer in bed.
Pause and change
Stop moving, change position or switch to other kinds of touch when you feel close. The squeeze technique helps here.
Consider a thicker condom
Some men find slightly less sensation helpful. Read do delay condoms work.
Talk about it
A light, honest comment takes pressure off. Most partners care far more about connection than duration.
Do not rely on masturbating first
Some men masturbate a few hours before a date. It can help, but it can also make erections harder. See masturbating before sex to last longer.
When it is more than nerves
If PE continues after the newness wears off, or happens with every partner, you may have lifelong or acquired premature ejaculation. Our naturopaths offer discreet consultations and natural plans to improve control.
Why men choose our natural approach
Walk in or consult remotely
Walk in at Buccleuch, Sandton, with parking available, or consult by phone or video from anywhere in South Africa.
Natural and non-surgical
Herbal remedies and practical guidance, with no injections or surgery.
Faster appointments
Enquiries answered 24/7, with same-day appointments often available.
Transparent pricing
Consultations are R2,500, with any remedy costs confirmed before you commit.
Private self-check: 5 quick questions
Answer these honestly before you try anything new or book. They help you describe what is happening and get more from your first consultation.
- Do you usually ejaculate sooner than you or your partner would like?
- Has this always been the case, or did it start recently?
- Do you feel you have little or no control over when you ejaculate?
- Is it causing stress, avoidance or tension in your relationship?
- Do you also have trouble getting or keeping an erection?
A yes to questions one, three or four suggests a consultation would help. Problems that started recently, or that come with erection difficulties, are worth discussing early, because the cause often guides the most effective natural plan.
What happens at your first consultation
- Walk in or book online, call +27 10 205 9855 or WhatsApp +27 81 823 1313. In Gauteng, walk in at 199 Vanessa Street, Buccleuch, Sandton, where parking is available. Outside Gauteng, choose a confidential phone or video consultation. Enquiries are answered 24/7.
- Talk privately with a naturopath about your symptoms, health history, lifestyle and goals.
- Receive a personalised natural plan, with any remedy costs confirmed upfront.
- Follow up in person or remotely so your progress is reviewed and your plan adjusted.
Your health and safety
Our naturopaths use natural remedies and lifestyle support, and always check your health history and current medicines first. If anything needs medical attention we tell you honestly and refer you to an appropriately registered medical professional. Avoid unregistered “enhancement” products sold online or at markets, as SAHPRA has warned that some contain hidden ingredients.
Seek urgent medical care for chest pain, an erection lasting more than four hours, sudden weakness or other sudden symptoms.
Consultation price
A consultation is R2,500, in person or remote, and your naturopath confirms any further costs before you go ahead. See our men’s clinic prices for details.
Frequently asked questions
Is it normal to finish quickly with a new partner?
Yes. High arousal and nerves make this very common, and it usually improves as you get comfortable.
How can I last longer the first time with someone?
Extend foreplay, breathe slowly, pause when close and take pressure off with honest communication.
Will premature ejaculation go away with the same partner?
For many men it does as anxiety settles. If not, techniques and support can help.
Should I tell my partner about premature ejaculation?
A brief, relaxed conversation usually reduces pressure and helps you both enjoy sex more.
How much does a consultation cost?
A consultation is R2,500, and any remedy costs are confirmed with you before you go ahead.
Book your consultation today
Walk in at our Sandton practice any time, day or night, or book ahead. Outside Gauteng? Book a remote consultation.
References and further reading
Reviewed by George Mulaudzi, Naturopath. This page is general information and does not replace a personal consultation. If you have chest pain, sudden symptoms or a medical emergency, seek urgent medical care.
